It's simple. I Win.

Can someone propose to me this way?

  • "Charmanders are red squirtles are blue if you were a pokemon id choose you. Your smile is stronger than a hyperbeam like jesse and james we would make a perfect team. Ill stay by your side like pikachu and ash I love you more than a level 80 rapidash. You're more legendary than a zapidos, entei or mewtwo. Out of 450 I choose you."
  • what i actually said: i forgot
  • what my parents heard: i hate you and i am determined to fail at life, go to prison, and bring dishonor to this family. i care about nothing except my computer and tv shows and you can just go burn in hell for all i care. also i'm pregnant.

homo-u-didnt:

women belong in the kitchen. men belong in the kitchen. everyone belongs in the kitchen. kitchen has food

ianbrooks:

Hamster President by Chris Gerringer / Paperbeatsscissors

Artist: Tumblr / Website / Shop

Keyblade Wielders minimalist

(Source: balthiers)

lacarpa:

Marvel pop

by

JUAN DOE

bennytcumberbatch:

deansdickofsuspense:

SO LAST NIGHT AT DINNER MY 11 YEAR OLD BROTHER RANDOMLY SAID “IS IT ‘OPEN SESAME’ OR ‘OPEN SAYS ME’” AND I AM REALLY CONTEMPLATING THE MEANING OF LIFE RIGHT NOW EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE

STOP RUINING MY LIFE

D:

(Source: fallenkevin)

bootyformcastform:

bootyformcastform:

dictatorofbutts:

I was at the zoo the other day and there was this fucking goose trying to act likE A FUCKING FLAMINGO

thiS FUCckIGN gOoSe Se PIssed Me OFFF So MUCh  yOU’RE a fucKING gODoSSE NOT a FUCKING flamingo
FUCK

I HAVE ACTUALLY RECEIVED HATE BECAUSE I WAS TELLING THE GOOSE IT WASN’T A FLAMINGO. NO.

bootyformcastform:

bootyformcastform:

dictatorofbutts:

I was at the zoo the other day and there was this fucking goose trying to act likE A FUCKING FLAMINGO

thiS FUCckIGN gOoSe Se PIssed Me OFFF So MUCh  yOU’RE a fucKING gODoSSE NOT a FUCKING flamingo

FUCK

I HAVE ACTUALLY RECEIVED HATE BECAUSE I WAS TELLING THE GOOSE IT WASN’T A FLAMINGO. NO.

(Source: derekswinslow)

urhajos:

‘Adrift’ by Jay Fleck

urhajos:

Adrift’ by Jay Fleck